Cup Sizes
by The Trix Rabbit
Summary: After a little prank-gone-wrong, Ron and Harry are changed into girls. How do they deal with the fact that they're technically lesbian, and the identity issues of which bathroom? Not to mention bras. Lots and lots and lots of bras. HPDM later.
1. All Ron's Fault

**A/N: I figured there isn't enough fem!harry fics out there, so I decided to write this. And I don't think whoever invented bras would think that they make for the most delicious humour -in my immature mind-. Beware, there's going to be Harry/Draco in later chapters!**

Cup Sizes- All Ron's Fault

All he wanted to do was sleep. Sleep and drift into the world of dreams, never to resurface, that is unless food is involved. Yes, Harry Potter was feeling particularly sleepy and lazy that fine summer morning. That is if you called it morning. It was barely three, and most of the world was most likely sleeping.

So why was the raven headed fifth year up this early?

Because his best friend was evil. Yes, Ron Weasley was evil. He had dragged Harry's lazy arse out of bed and into The Burrow's kitchen, to do some snooping.

Snooping? That wasn't very Gryffindorish of the two. You see, the night before this fine summer morning, the twins Fred and George were brewing something fishy.

Not fishy as in suspicious, because the prank-loving twins were always up to this kind of thing, so it didn't really surprise anyone anymore, but seriously _fishy._

Meaning it smelt disgusting.

"Ron, what in the bloody hell is this?" Harry hissed, still grumpy that he was missing his beloved sleep. Ron just shrugged, "I don't know mate, my Fred and George made sure for me not to know."

"Yeah, so they'd just leave it out in the open like that. Really not wanting you to see." Harry snapped sarcastically at the ginger, rubbing his eyes tiredly, contemplating if he should just fall asleep on the kitchen counter right that second.

"You sure a tad bit frumpy this morning. Anything wrong?" Ron asked innocently, knowing full well why his best mate was in a Hermione-type mood.

Harry just made a pissed-off noise, not even bothering with a reply. "I think I know what it is, mate." Ron finally said after a moment of pause.

"What is it, you bloody wanker?" asked Harry, not really caring to be honest. "It's a prank-potion. We should use it on Malfoy tomorrow on the train!" Ron's blue eyes glinted excitedly.

"What kind of prank-potion? What if it's some super dangerous one?" asked Harry, not really wanting to be in more trouble after his adventures in detention in fourth year.

"Since when did we care about the well-fare of Malfoy?" asked Ron laughing. "Touche, Weasley." Harry returned, remembering the 'Potter Stinks' badges that a certain lovely ferret had endorsed.

He smiled as he replayed the scene of Professor Moody turning the 'poor bloke' into a pure white ferret. It still brought tears of laughter to his eyes.

The raven looked back at Ron, who was busy ladling the putrid potion into three containers. "Why three?" Harry asked curiously.

"One for Malfoy, one for Crabbe and the other for Goyle." Ron responded happily screwing the caps on and popping it into his backpack, and then started laughing manically. "Oh ferret, you are so dead."

Harry rolled his eyes at his best friend, "Why the heck did you not get into Slytherin, you evil snake?" Ron laughed and pulled Harry back into their shared bedroom.

Now The-Boy-Who-Lived was happy. He now had a way to get revenge on Malfoy, and he was in a nice warm bed, soon cuddling into sleep. Life was good. Little did the two know that tomorrow was going to be a _whole different story._

The next morning, Harry was again shaken awake by his _dear_ old chum. "Wakey Wakey, time to shakey! C'mon Mate, we gotta get up!" Ron yelled, practically jumping on poor Harry's chest.

Said boy groaned and finally sat up, running a lazy hand through his unruly hair. "Fine, fine." He muttered and allowed himself to be dragged down several flights of stairs and somehow ended up on a stool in the kitchen. "Good morning, dears!" Molly Weasley's kind voice sounded from above the sizzling of the pan, where delicious smells were making its way into the all the residents of the Burrow, and Harry felt instantly not sleepy. "'Morning," Harry and Ron chirped at the same time to the caring redhead.

She levitated platters of biscuit and muffins onto the table with a simple flick of her wand. Eat up, sweethearts. And eat full; I wouldn't want for you to get hungry on the train. But just in case, your lunches and snacks are all in you knapsacks, loves." She told them all from her seat as she flicked her wand again and orange juice poured itself into glasses for everyone. "And congratulations on our ickle Ronnie-dear to be a prefect this year." Molly's eyes practically glowed with happiness and pride.

Ron's cheeks and ears were washed with a reddish tint, blushing at the nickname and attention as all the Weasleys cheered.

During the entire breakfast, Fred and George were snickering and laughing between themselves, making Harry wonder what it was that was so funny.

After the satisfying meal, Arthur and his wife Flooed them all into Kings Cross Station with their trunks and all and pushed them through station nine and three quarters. After many kisses and double checks on Molly's half and words of caution on Arthurs half they sent Ron, Harry, Ginny and the twins onto the train.

Waving at them as they looked on from the windows, Hogwarts Express pulled out of the station, becoming no more than a fleck of light in the dark tunnel.

The Golden Trio met up at their usual compartment, only to find out it was taken by two seventh years snogging. Thoroughly disgusted, they moved their way into a different one awkwardly. The last one was the one taken up by a one Draco Malfoy and co.

The gang sulked at their luck, and sat as far away as them as possible. Which was almost impossible considering it was a very cramped compartment. "Potter. Weasel-bee, Mudblood." Malfoy spat in our faces as his suck-ups snickered behind him. Ron winked at Harry to start the 'plan'.

"Malfoy. Same stupid insults as last year? Grow up." Harry growled, and as he and Malfoy had a row, Ron secretly put a Glamor charm on the containers to make them look like the drinks on the table, and switched them up, amazed that they didn't notice.

Slytherins took insulting and bullying to a whole different level.

Nudging his best mate 'accidentally' to let him know the deed was done. He soon died out his conversation with the bratty Slytherins to just mutual glares of hatred. Harry was good, real good.

This little 'staring contest' went on for quite a bit, until Crabbe, went to reach for his backpack which was on the table, knocked over the containers full of the potion- all onto Harry and Ron's laps. Their eyes widened as suddenly they were being shrunk.

Their shoulders shrunk, their muscles disappeared, their waists expanded and this is where they knew they were suddenly going to be turned into a bunch of bints while Malfoy was laughing, also had figured it out. And then, you guessed it, _it _happened. Harry felt an awkward tingling sensation in between his legs as he felt his _ahem _poof away from his body. And then his chest suddenly felt ridiculously heavy, his _ahem _cookies shall we say were now sticking out from his chest. Malfoy started laughing especially hard at that.

"Hey Potter, nice tits." Draco sneered; staring straight at Harry's uh, _cookies._

Harry growled, "Shut it, you wanker."

Draco sniffed, "At least I can wank, you don't even have it anymore!"

"Why you lit-" Harry didn't even get to finish his sentence before his hair suddenly started growing at a break-neck pace, soon his jet black hair was reaching his waist. Ron's did as well, just shorter, at a modest shoulder length, and soon, there were really a bunch on chicks.

"No!" Ron wailed, tugging at his hair, expecting to just be able to wake up and see he was still in The Burrow, and never did this nightmare happen.

Draco and co. practically exploded with laughter. Never had he seen so hilarious, here Potter was sitting right in front of him with his sidekick, now a bunch of bints!

Hermione tried to comfort them, but it was now awkward to hug either of them, so she stayed to being quiet. "Now I'll never be" able to get the girls! They'd all think I was a bloody dyke!" Ron wailed, imagining being laughed at for hitting on a female.

Malfoy hooted with laughter, "That's because you _are_ a bloody dyke now, Weasel-bee!"

Ron sniffed, "Bloody hell. I just had a strange need to cry for a second there. My hormones are **so** out of check." He said in a rather girly voice.

Harry just clutched at his jet-black hair, and his now ridiculously thin figure, before turning to Ron. "You little brat! It was ALL your fault!" he yelled, slapping the him/her across the face. "Chick fight! Chick fight!" Malfoy cheered eagerly.

"Hey Harr- What the bloody hell happened." Ginny gaped at the site of her brother er sister and his/her best friend in girl form.

Ron and Harry both refused to answer, so Hermione did with a sigh. "They were idiots and tried to use this on Malfoy and his gang but it spilt on them so now it's them who got effected."

"Damn. You guys are idiots," Ginny snickers very Slytherin-like, "Oh and Ronnie and Harriet (insert epic face here) would you like to borrow a bra? You really don't want anyone to see your boobies sticking out like that."

Ron and Harry sputtered, "Nice, Weaselette," Draco laughs even harder.

She smirks before gaping at Harry. "Never mind, Harry! My bra would never fit you! You have got to be at least a D!" she said in awe, before getting a flick on her face.

"STOP TALKING ABOUT IT." Harry whisper-shouted through his teeth, thoroughly embarrassed.

Ginny just held her hands up innocently and disappeared, not to be seen again.

The Golden Trio followed her to leave, not wanting to be made fun of anymore. Harry, grumbling to herself and accidentally bumped into Seamus, who catcalled and tries to flirt. Harry growled, and ran away to Lavender Brown's compartment.

She almost squealed. "Oh. My. GODS! You and Ron would look so beautiful and cute if I'd just give you a makeover. Pretty, pretty please!" she begged for knew victims for her makeover.

After almost an hour of convincing they finally gave in and allowed themselves to be dragged into the part of the train where the bathrooms were. They faced the identity crisis of not knowing which one to go to, and decided to just pull it together and go into the girls.

After a torturous hour full of hair plucking, hair cutting and cookie measuring, Harry and Ron emerged from the bathroom, now in a bra and more feminine form fitting clothes, courtesy of a certain Lavender Brown.

"This thing is uncomfortable!" Ron groans plucking at the straps of the lacy pink bra.

"Stop complaining! It should be Harry that's complaining since I don't have a D sized bra. I have teenie weenie pimples for bazooms." Lavender sighs, stroking her chest affectionately.

"Do all girls act like this?" Harry asks, creeped out.

Lavender just rolls her eyes and pushes the two he turned shes into the compartment, admiring her handiwork.

Yep, she'd turned ugly into fantabulous. Go her!

And they really were. Harry's hair now had soft curs in it and was still waist length, amazingly. His arms and legs were now smooth and hair free, and damn his new glasses finished him off. Ron was still hot, even as a straight girl she could say that. Her red hair was now straight and clipped of split ends. His arms were also smooth and hair free, as was his legs.

Ron turned and checked himself out in the reflection in the window. "Bloody Hell! I'm hot!"

Harry did say anything, "Hot or not, I still hate you for doing this to me."

**A/N: Okay, sorry for shortness, but now I'm tired! I'll see you next time! Tell me how to improve, this is my first Harry Potter fic!**


	2. Who the hell are Anne and Martha?

**A/N: By the way, it takes place in fifth year.**

Cup Sizes- Who the Hell are Anne and Martha?

"Ginny, drop it. Please." Harry groaned desperately as the youngest of the Weasleys chased her for her bust measurements. "Why the hell do you want them anyways?" he asked, curious to know her obsession with her cookies. He-I mean she looked down at her chest, usually able to see his stomach, but now so his cleavage poking out from the Hogwarts' dress shirt uniform. They were so weird.

"'Cause not even Lavender's bra fit you! And she is pretty much the bustiest girl in Gryffindor! Well now it's you." Ginny winked and tried again to pull the conjured measuring tape across his chest, only for Harry to turn about five shades of red as her _coconuts_ jiggled.

"Ew, Harry! Get a bra!" Ginny started laughing hysterically making Harry turn redder than Ron's hair.

"What is wrong with these things?" the girl groaned mentally, they jiggled for crying out loud if you didn't wear a bra, which were _not _comfortable. If you didn't wear one, people could see your nipples, and perverts (cough Draco Malfoy cough) would be staring at you! It sucked to be a girl, and sucked even harder to be a boy turned girl.

"This weekend when we go to Hogsmead, you are coming with me and Hermione to go bra shopping. And Ron is going too. We do not want our innocent little Harry's virtue to be taken away because he doesn't have the luxury that is a bra." She coed, stroking his hair in a mock-sympathy manner while Harry squirmed out of her grasp.

"Shut up! Where is Ron and Hermione anyways?" the elder of the two seethed, really wanting to slap his supposedly best mate for dragging him into this mess.

"Ron was having a bit of a mishap with his 'boulder holder' so Hermione offered to switch with him. They should be back any second." Ginny replies, looking out the door.

Harry twitched at the term 'boulder holder' and wished she were back in his carefree **male **body, without all this drama of bras and shaving anywhere that wasn't your face.

A rather awkward silence rung through the two, Harry thinking about the most violent way to destroy a bra and Ginny thinking of more ways to further humiliate and torture Harry.

Suddenly, a distraught Hermione ran in, hair a mess and cheeks flushed. "Help. It's Ron. Hurry!" and pulled the two into a stall in the girls' bathroom.

And there was Ron, bra upside down on his chest, clasps in a knot, constricting his tender jugs painfully. Harry and Ginny burst into laughter at the sight of the redhead, whose face now matched his hair. "Shut up and help me! This bloody bra is killing Anne and Martha." Ron grumbled.

"Who the hell are Anne and Martha, you arse?" asked Harry, still hiccupping little chuckles.

"My precious boobies, of course." Ron said matter-of-factly, tugging on the bra, but immediately regretting it as it snapped back against his already in pain 'Anne and Martha'.

Ginny rolled her eyes at his big br-sister. "Well? Don't just stare at me! Help!" Ron hissed at the three.

Hermione was the first to approach him awkwardly trying to untangle the clasps without getting too close. After a while of groping and twisting, 'Anne and Martha 'were free.

And as soon as they were Hermione, Harry and Ginny raced out, not wanting to meet 'Anne and Martha', if you know what I mean. Ron rolled his eyes and said 'screw it' to the bra and just put on his shirt and skirt with the Gryffindor tie.

The Golden Trio was back together, Ron rubbing his chest every so often, Hermione reading and Ginny and Harry fighting. All was normal for now.

"Ugh! Where am I going to sleep! It'll be too awkward to sleep in the boys' dorms now!" Ron moaned, imagining camping out in the Astronomy Tower.

Ginny just shrugged, "Not my problem bro, or should I say sis?"

"You're dead to me!" Ron wails, curling into a ball and sniffling.

"Geez. PMS, much?" Ginny giggles at her sister's behavior as a hormonal PMSing girl.

At the three letters Harry jumped up. "We won't _actually_ get PMS an-and periods and stuff, right?" he asked, turning red all over at mentioning it.

Hermione closes Hogwarts: A History and answers with, "Maybe. But trust me, it won't be fun. You'll have back pains, and boys will be an even bigger prick to you and the teachers would be bastards toward you and- and-" she was heaving after that little rant.

"Are you sure _you're _not on that time of the month, Hermione, dear?" Ron asked 'caringly' like a 'good pal'.

Hermione just blushed and reopened her book and continued to read.

"Ohhh!" squealed Ginny, "Which reminds me! We are so taking you two panty shopping!" she clasped her hands happily.

"HELL NO!" yelled Ron and Harry at the same time, not going to face the embarrassment of not only buying bras, but bloody frilly panties too.

"Mwahahahaha!" Ginny laughs evilly, reminding Harry of George and Fred.

"My god, Ginny! You sound so much like Fred and George," Hemione says, patting her friend on the head.

"Hermione! Ginny! I've lost Trevor. Have you seen him?" asked Neville shyly.

"Again? Neville! That's you're fifth year in a row!" Hermione said shocked. Neville just blushed. "Who are you two?" he asks kindly at 'Harry and Ron.'

Said boys just exchanged looks, neither wanting to let other people know the embarrassment of being a boy girl.

Hermione, being the all-knowing know-it-all (redundant much) answered for them, "This is uh, my friends who are uh visiting Hogwarts." She said, twisting her fingers. She was never much of a liar.

Neville nodded muttering a shy "Hi" and leaves on the epic adventure for the toad.

"Thanks 'Mione. Really saved our arses there." Ron said appreciatively, well as appreciative as a Ron could get.

"Humph." Hermione acknowledged his thanks and continued reading, not really forgiving him for teasing her PMS like behavior.

After a while Harry had gotten bored and started poking around for fun. He plucked Hermione's book from her hands and ran away with it down the hall, while she chased after him.

Really, she'd been in such a good place. "HARRY JAMES POTTER! GIVE IT BACK RIGHT NOW!" she yelled in a rather mother like tone. Harry turned around as he ran, sticking out his tongue, and ran straight into Malfoy, knocking him down.

Her face was now red as she panted, nose no more than five inches from Malfoy's, who was in shock.

She realized her position; she was straddling Malfoy, a position where she never wanted to be in again.

There was soon buzz all around them.

"_Oh my god. Who is that whore all around my Drakey-poo?"_

"_DA-AMN! That it one fine piece of specimen." _

"_I'd totally tap that fanny." _

"_You'd tap anything with legs."_

"… _Touche."_

"I-I am so sorry! I just-just-" she flushed under Draco's intense stare, "Sorry," she whispered again and got up and ran off awkwardly into Hermione's hug.

Malfoy snickered at the cuteness of the new Potter. Yes, she was a fine piece of meat, and she will be his.

"Oh Merlin!" Harry moaned, she had just tackled Draco Malfoy! What the hell was wrong with her? Hermione was right, she was daft!

"You just tackled Malfoy with a body like that?" Ginny clucked her tongue disapprovingly, "He's probably planning on making you his now, you bloody tease."

Harry rolled her eyes, "Draco doesn't even swing that way!"

Ginny stared at her, "You do realize that you're a chick now, right?" she asked in a tone of voice meant for explaining that fire was hot to a three year old.

"Damn." Harry said, pretty much summing up his entire life at the moment in one word.

Soon, after pigging out on roast beef sandwiches courtesy of and more complaining on how much life sucks, the Hogwarts express pulled into Hogwarts.

"Damn! We forgot our prefect duties!" Hermione hissed, almost at her knees sobbing at the disgrace.

"Well, we can't both be prefects. We're both chicks. Besides, as far as they know, Ron Weasley is dead." Ron replied, actually relieved he didn't have to do any of the prefect duties.

"Irresponsible! Stupid! Disgraceful!" Hermione was beating herself on the head, almost crying.

"Er, Hermie? Are you okay?" Harry asked awkwardly patting her shoulder sympathetically.

"NO! NOW I HAVE TO GIVE MYSELF DETENTION!" she sniffed, burying her head in her hands in the 'shame'.

"You're crazy." Harry commented drily, taking a noncommittal munch out of his dinner roll.

"Says the one who practically tried to rape Malfoy" Hermione muttered.

Harry almost immediately turned a strange mix of pink and red at the mention of 'the incident'.

"Hi, who're you?" Katie Bell asked Harry curiously smiling.

"Um, I'm a-a visitor. Yeah." Harry said the 'yeah' to himself happy with his lie.

"Oh. Well, welcome to Hogwarts!" she smiled and turned back to talking to Pavarti, who smiled back at Harry.

Harry turned to look at the teacher's table, only to see Professor Dumbledore looking at him, twinkle in his eyes and winked at him. Creepy old guys really _don't _need to wink, really.

Then he figured it out, Dumbledore knew he wasn't a male. Crap.

"Hey, Ron-" after noticing the few stares from the girls, "Ron, er Ronalda, Dumbledore knows."

Ron-alda swallowed the mouthful of chicken and looked at him. "Who the hell is Ro- oh. Never mind. Wait, DUMBLEDORE KNOWS?' he practically shouted, earning quite a few 'What the hell' looks.

Ron blushed and tried again, "Dumbledore knows?" he whispered, shocked.

Harry nodded, patting a still depressed Hermione on the shoulder softly. "Damn. We're so screwed, mate." Ron sniffs, suddenly not really hungry for more food. (Amazing.)  
>"Okay, we have to talk." Demanded Ginny as she pulled Harry, Ron and Hermione into the Room of Requirement in a broom cupboard around where the Hogwarts kitchen was.<p>

"What do you want?" moaned Ron, not wanting to put up with her little sister right now.

"About you two, " she pointed at the two teenage boys/girls/transsexuals/hermaphrodites/whatever the hell they were, "How are you going to hide it, if you are going to hide it?" Harry shrugs, "I don't want anyone to know, so I guess we have to reinvent ourselves?"

Ronalda groans pitifully, "Too lazy!" Ginny and Hermione both slapped her.

"You are _such_ a boy, Ron! An insufferable, lazy, stupid, jerk!" Hermione bursts out at Ron, thoroughly scaring the poop out of him.

"No I'm not! I'm a bloody girl! With bewbies and bacon strips and everything!" she wails.

"So am I!" Harry sobs into Ron, both relenting the fact that they were dick-turned-chicks.

"You guys are ridiculously weird." Ginny said, miffed slightly.

"You mean girls?" Ron sniffed, rubbing his snot away with the back of his hand, disgusting Hermione to new levels.

"Actually, yes." Ginny giggled into her palms at her sister.

"Anyways, for us to fool the others until we get a cure for this-" she poked 'Martha' for emphasis, "you'll be girls. Harry already called Ron Ronalda so he's done. But what about Harry?"

Harry just shrugged, swatting at invisible lint on her sleeve and tie like a kitty. "Harriet? No, too old, Henriet? No, that's not even a real name, Henrietta? Maybe… Harrietta! That's such a cute name!" Ginny squealed.

"Didn't you have a hamster named Harrietta, Ginny?" Ron asked, not wanting his best mate to be associated with a dead, fat, hamster.

"Yes. Why?" Ginny asked.

"Nothing, nothing." Grumbled Ron, not even bothering.

"So Ron is Ronalda, and I'm Harrietta?" Harry asked, pouting.

"Yeah. What's with the bulldog face?" Hermione asked, noticing the pout.

"Don't you think it'll be obvious? That we are Ron and Harry, though?"

"I guess, but this is the only plan we've got. Oh, and can you stop wearing your glasses?" answered Hermione, biting her lip unconsciously thinking.

"No. I'm nearsighted, I wouldn't be able to see the blackboard in class." Harry said, touching his dorky looking spectacles.

"Oh. Then can I make you where contacts or like better glasses?" Hermione asked, thinking about if no glasses would suit her friend.

"I guess. I would prefer glasses, of course." Harry said quietly.

"Why? You've broken then too many times, and they look terrible on you, no offense." Ginny piped up, taking sides with Hermione.

"Well. You're a jerk, no offense!" Harry mocked Ginny. He liked his glasses, what is wrong with his glasses?

"Sorry, mate. But it's either change your glasses or suffer eternal teasing from other blokes. Your choice, of course." Ron brushed off the topic as if it was no big deal, only putting more pressure on Harry's shoulders.

"Fine. I hate you all." Harry sulked, poking at a spider web under the chair he was on.

"YAY! Contacts it is!" Hermione cheered and suddenly the Room of Requirement shifted, into an optical store. They soon found the right contacts for Harrietta, and put them in.

"You alright, mate?" asked Ronalda to his friend.

"Yeah, fine. It's just so clear and light!" Harry said, obviously amazed.

"Good, now let's hit the common room. Dinner's already over." Said Hermione, leaving the Room of Requirement.

And as soon as they got into the halls, everyone's eyes were on Ronalda and Harrietta. There were catcalls and wolf whistles as they both turned red and walked faster. Until they saw Malfoy, who was catcalling the loudest and winked at Harrietta when he had caught her eye. "Hate you." She mouthed to him, and ran to catch up, only for Malfoy to stare harder at her rack, that was now jiggling and bouncing with her movement.

Of course Harrietta felt them too, so she pressed an arm to it to control the jiggling.

Mafloy snickered. "You still have nice tits!" he yelled at her.

Harrietta turned and stuck her tongue out at him adorably, which was supposed to be teasing but the only thing that she teased was Draco's well, thing down below.

"Damn you Potter. Damn you and your nice tits and fine arse. Damn you to hell!" Draco cursed mentally, now having to have a nice wank tonight.

And Harrietta probably knew that too, the ever tease she was.

Harry was enjoying being a girl, boys held the door for you, you get treated as royalty just because you have big bewbies, and of course, it was so much easier to tease a certain platinum blond Slytherin.

All was good, that day.

**A/n: Not a lot of humour in this one, I know. But this was just filler anyways, nothing really important happened. It was all kind of pointless. Drop a review, I really appreciate it. **


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